5 tips for overcoming a friendship breakup
A friendly breakup can lead to feelings of isolation.
While a breakup often leaves us heartbroken, the end of an important friendship can also be very painful, even difficult to overcome. Psychologist Janick Coutu gives us some advice on how to calmly recover from a loss of friendship.
BFF (best friend forever), friends for life… In friendship, almost more than in love, we like to believe that things are made to last a lifetime. Especially since in popular culture, friendship breakups are rarely described or told.
“As we are used to hearing stories of friendships that last, we perhaps expect less to live one day a friendly breakup than a romantic breakup,” says Janick Coutu, known on TikTok for her account Dose de psy.
When we think of heartbreak, images come to mind – eating ice cream, crying, seeing our loved ones for some comfort – but when it's a friend who leaves us, we can feel more helpless.
Dare to talk-about
However, a friendly breakup can hurt a lot, says the psychologist. We must therefore not deprive ourselves of talking about it to our loved ones, of naming what we are going through so as not to go through this event in isolation.
“One can feel astonishment at the intensity of the emotions that a friendly breakup makes us experience. And if we imagine that others do not experience this, it can even create a feeling of shame. But by talking about it around us, we will surely realize that we are not the only ones to have experienced this”, she explains.
< strong>Living your emotions
Since there is nothing to be ashamed of, let us allow ourselves to feel all the emotions that can accompany a loss of friendship. Sadness, anger, frustration or incomprehension deserve some space.
To avoid being completely overwhelmed, Janick Coutu recommends, however, to “seek a balance between the moments when the we allow ourselves to experience this pain, these emotions, and moments when we will simply take our minds off things to give our hearts a break.”
Try to understand… or not
In order to find some peace of mind, trying to understand the reasons that led our friend to want to move away from us to the point of ending the relationship can be beneficial.
“ If we feel ready to have a conversation with the person, it can do us good to understand their reasons, name any dissatisfaction, ”suggests the psychologist. But in some cases, especially if we were simply ghosted, “we may never have an answer and at that time, it is better to accept it than to develop theories”, she specifies.
< h3 class="wp-block-heading">Investing other relationships
Anyway, and even if the breakup is hard to get over, it doesn't Don't forget that we are not alone. In times like this, it is important not to isolate yourself, to continue to maintain ties with those close to you.
“It could even be an opportunity to develop or 'deepen other friendships,' suggests Janick Coutu.
Let time take its course
Finally , although she is aware that “we never like being told that”, the psychologist reminds us that in the event of a breakup, time gradually brings more peace of mind. While it can be long and painful, “time has a big impact on how we deal with any loss. It does its job, as in all grieving processes,” she concludes.