Crying after sex, worrying?

Crying after worrying sex

After sex, some people are overcome with tears.

If all goes well, a romp should make us happy rather than cry. However, some people are taken to tears after the act or feel downright depressed. How to explain this phenomenon and how to respond to it? Sexologists enlighten us.

If you have never experienced it or witnessed it, this phenomenon might surprise you, but yes, crying after sex does happen. And we are not talking here about non-consensual, painful or traumatic relationships, but about satisfying sexual relationships after which you would not expect to burst into tears but rather to have a small smile on the corner of your lips.&nbsp ; 

But as surprising as it is, this reaction is not necessarily abnormal. Like laughter, tears can simply be a way to release the pressure after an intense moment.  

“It can just be linked to both physical and emotional relaxation,” explains Myriam Daguzan Bernier, sexologist and author of the blog La tête dans le cul.

A sexual relationship can be really intense, you get naked in every sense of the word, and even in the case of a more vanilla, it can be a moment of communion, a strong moment that will make you feel moved.

Myriam Daguzan Bernier, sexologist

This exposure can make us feel vulnerable and “bring up all kinds of emotions, whether it's intense joy or sadness,” adds sexologist and psychologist Geneviève Labelle. While some may burst out laughing, others will instead start crying.  

Post-coital melancholy 

In some cases, this reaction can also resemble a phenomenon called post-sex blues or post-coital dysphoria. “After the sexual act, the person feels depressed, anxious or angry. It's like a rush of emotions that would be linked to the rush of hormones caused by orgasm and which manifests itself in the psyche and in the body”, explains Myriam Daguzan Bernier.   

This “big down” which can last from a few minutes to more than an hour depending on the person, is still difficult to explain. “People forget that the brain is involved in sexual activity, underlines the sexologist in any case. Pleasure is created by the brain from signals sent by the nervous system and perhaps this rushof hormones is more difficult to manage in some cases.” 

< p>Hormonal imbalance, past trauma… whatever the reason, if the phenomenon repeats itself, it could be beneficial to consult a health professional for help.  

Communicate and take care 

In the meantime, how to react if your partner starts crying after a couple moment? Obviously, the first thing is to make sure that you haven't done something that bothered him. If this is not the case, we can simply lend an ear. 

“It can be destabilizing, but the important thing is to listen to the other , to stop and take the time to talk about it in order to understand his or her needs”, answers Geneviève Labelle.  

Does your partner need a moment of tranquility, a hug? To soften this post-sex moment, Myriam Daguzan Bernier suggests taking inspiration from aftercare, a practice inherited from BDSM and which consists of taking care of the other.

“The idea is to create a buffer zone to recover from our emotions before returning to our daily lives,” she explains. It doesn't have to be a complex ritual, it can just be a hug, a massage or a hot chocolate.”

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