Not loving your family on Christmas
Ouin … It's a bit taboo to want to run away from your family during the holidays.
The end-of-year celebrations are also an opportunity to get together with family and share pleasant moments. & nbsp; For some, however, this reunion is a ; real & nbsp; torment. & nbsp; Not everyone who loves my uncle Jean & nbsp; or even his own mother. & nbsp; Do we dare to admit it? not & nbsp; tripping over & nbsp; his family, especially at Christmas? & nbsp;
The psychologist & nbsp; Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier asserts it straight away: there is a certain taboo not to cherish & nbsp; our kinship . & nbsp; & nbsp;
“In many families, relationships are not easy. There are tensions, unspoken “, & nbsp; she confirms. & Nbsp;
Several of her patients & nbsp; suffer & nbsp; besides. & Nbsp;” Anything that doesn't This is not said to accumulate and risk to come out violently during arguments. id = “h-all-la-culpabilit”> Hello guilt
This pain is very often associated with feeling guilty since we are taught that we absolutely must love our family. & Nbsp;
“Culturally, we learn very young that the family is here to stay while friendships and loves are fleeting. We expect the family to be the place where we can always go when things are not going well, “explains Ms. Beaulieu-Pelletier. & Nbsp; & nbsp;
This makes it very difficult for a person to think of ending their relationship with their parents, for example. & Nbsp; & nbsp;
“The feeling of being at fault is all the more strong in this case since we feel that we should always be indebted to our parents. “& nbsp; & nbsp;
If you think about cutting ties, you have to do it very thoughtfully, but taking the weight of the guilt off, says the expert in family relations. She advises to look at how you feel. feels. What is it that irritates us about this person? How is it when we are together? & Nbsp;
“The more you identify what is going on in you in relation to this person, the more you are able to work on your emotions and your relationship with the 'other by expressing your limits which must be respected. “& nbsp;
Conflicts of values & nbsp;
More frequently than in the case of an immediate relative, Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier & nbsp; meets people who & nbsp; don't like members of their more distant family & nbsp; such as uncles, aunts & nbsp; or & nbsp; cousins. & nbsp; The guilt remains present, but in a much less strong way. & nbsp;
The main reason for this absence of affection is often & nbsp; related & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;
Marie, who testifies under a name changed out of desire for anonymity, says that she only loves her parents, and her brothers and sisters, but not the others. Her values & nbsp; diverge so much from theirs that she says she has no connection with them. & Nbsp;
“I live in Montreal and my family is in the suburbs. I don't see her much so I don't mind too much, but if I had to see her regularly I'm sure I would be very irritated by her “, & nbsp; she admits. & Nbsp; & nbsp;
Marie admits to feeling guilty at times. Even though she is a godmother, she & nbsp; doesn't feel close to her goddaughter. & Nbsp; But she doesn't want to be closer to her family. & Nbsp; She apprehends the holidays, & nbsp; where she will have to go see her. For her, this is a task, something that she has to go through. She knows she will find it boring. & Nbsp;
“When I talk about it around me, I realize that my situation is common. Several people have also told me that they are not close to their families. Often times it's because they're all over the place and values vary from place to place. & Nbsp; So I don't feel too bad to discuss this. On the other hand, I would not say it in the face of the members of my family “, & nbsp; admits Marie. & Nbsp; & nbsp;
Recently, with the pandemic & nbsp; and & nbsp; the debates around the fact of being “ woke “, opinions seem increasingly polarized. Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier believes that these issues are fueling the factors of divergence and conflicts within family kernels at a time when everyone is psychologically tired.
But before you turn everything upside down, take a bite of fudge and call you know that New Year's Eve is just a little evening out of 365 days. Good luck!