Should we help our parents date?
Helping parents find love can be awkward, but it can also be a real helping hand.
The Two Make a Pair (1995). The Parent Catcher (1998). The Perfect Man (2005). What do these three films have in common? They all persuaded millennials and Gen Zers that they had better get involved in mom-dad love life. But in the age of dating apps, is it a good idea to help our parents dateor should we rather keep a little embarrassment? Do we risk experiencing discomfort by intervening in their love life or, on the contrary, is it a great opportunity to get closer to our parents?
Breaking the isolation
“My father did not quite become “single” strictly speaking, testifies Jade. My mother was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, a degenerative disease, and he became more of a caregiver than a spouse. After a few years of exhausting himself, he decided to place my mother and her three children. lead by suggesting that he sign up for a dating site so that he can create new ties and, who knows, maybe even fall in love again. If he was resistant to the idea for several months, the proposal made its way, until he accepted Jade's help during a weekend alone.   ;
The game plan
There is a fine line between helping and interfering in this kind of situation. Anyone who has helped a parent get used to a cell phone or an iPad knows something about this! But Jade made sure first and foremost to help her father quickly gain independence by taking care of the technical details herself. Once his profiles were created on a dating site and on the Facebook Dating application, his father was responsible for writing bios in his image: “He even put a quote from… Daniel Belanger, I believe. I found it cute to death!»
Jade and her father then went through the archives before doing a little photo shoot to better fill her profile. Then, a microphone beer in hand, they examined the portraits of potential candidates together.
If she may have felt some discomfort at the idea that this approach “betrayed” her mother, or tended to erase her, the biggest discomfort was ultimately to see her father take a picture of himself, admits Jade : “It was super soft and [cute], but definitely a little weird on the spot!”
However, his father quickly took ownership of his efforts. And success didn't take long either! After dating for a year with a woman found on these dating networks, Jade's father is now in a relationship with a former work colleague who has integrated well into their family.
< h3 id="h-in-the-target-of-crooks">In-the crosshairs of crooks
As convenient as they are, however, dating apps contain their share of shadows, insofar as vulnerable people, in particular those aged 60 and over, can be victims of fraud. Emotional manipulation to obtain money or personal information, extortion of intimate photos or videos, identity theft… Jade admits to having heard horror stories of the genre herself.
But a benevolent accompaniment like that of Jade with regard to her father could however help vulnerable people to protect themselves from the potential scams that await them on the dating networks. By informing their parents about the red flagsmonitoring and safe online practices, and by taking the pulse of their experience, millennials and Gen Z youth can help their parents learn about new tools that will allow them to regain their autonomy .
Do it for yourself
Leaving celibacy for people over the age of 55 is no small feat, but this new stage can be softened with the help of those who are committed to seeing their parents regain their independence in the dating sphere .
And you don't need to have a close relationship with them to offer her help: Jade has never been so close to her father, but she assures that this experience helped solidify their relationship.
“It's a funny moment to live with your parent, but it brings you closer, it brings you laughter and it'sso reassuring to know that your parent is not alone and that he is happy!”
And that, frankly, is enough to give it a try.