Sperm hide to die

Spermatozoa-hide-to-die die

Caroline Décoste and Mathieu Charlebois behind the column Will you finish?

CHRONICLE – A team of scientists recently developed a male contraceptive pill that is 99% effective in mice. Already, it’s thefunfor mice, and if you hear noises in the walls of your apartment, it’s probably an orgy of rodents. But even better: this pill could soon be tested on humans.  

Scientists have been working on a male pill since the 1960s. Well, work is a big word. In the meantime, we have invented for women: patches, the vaginal ring, the subcutaneous implant, the Femidom, the hormonal nasal spray and the ’ expression “alpha male” in Tinder profiles. 

The thing is, the previous trials all came with side effects like cheek fat, feel to listen to Isabelle Boulay crying or a little clot that ruins you solid your afternoon. You know? The kind of side effects that didn't bother anyone when it was a pill for Sophie, Cindy or Eulalie? Well for Marcel, Daniel or Ezeckiel, it might get in the way of their golf games. Fafa tse… 

But maybe after doing your research, you're wary of the lie and pill drug industry, preferring to consult a druid or naturopsychopath when you break your leg. No problem! We have unearthed for you alternative ways to stop the race of your gametes: 

1.    The “1980s comedy” technique, which consists of kicking yourself in the schnolles every half hour. It can be a round kick, a rake, a ball arriving at high speed: vary the means! 

2.    Wash your sheets only once a year. 

3.    Develop a passion for cryptocurrency and, above all, talk about it constantly, mainly to your conquests. As they say in the south of our southern neighbors: abstinence is the best contraception! 

But are women really ready to delegate contraception to guys who are already rushing to share the tasks in the house fairly? Really! They were even expecting that, to do less in the couple. Even if it's only 25 milligrams less.

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