Understanding LGBTQ2S+ sexual language

Understanding LGBTQ2S+ sexual language 

You can never know too much about sexuality.

Tired of being in the field as soon as your LGBTQ2S+ entourage talks about sex? Here is a naughty lexicon without taboos or complexes to untangle everything.

LGBTQ2S+:lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, two-spirited and other sexual orientations and gender identities.

Active or top: a gay man or bisexual who prefers to take/swing/penetrate their male partner rather than the other way around.  

Passive or Bottom: A gay or bisexual man who prefers to receive anal penetration from his male partner. In the GBT community, rumor has it that bottoms far outnumber tops.  

Versatile ou versa: a gay or bisexual man who likes it both ways in bed. He gives and receives. A handyman, what. 

Pegging (or pegging): when a woman penetrates another partner using a sex toy ( harness strap-on, dildo, etc.) that she attaches to her body.  

Unicorn or Centaur: a bisexual person who has sex with a straight couple without necessarily having a romantic attachment to the couple.  

“It can be a controversial term if 'unicorn' feels used by people desperate to find a bisexual person for a night out [unicorn hunters , Ed],” says Myriam Daguzan Bernier, sexologist and author of Tout nu! The Benevolent Dictionary of Sexuality. You also have to be careful not to fall into fetishization.

Queening: when a woman straddles (in a sitting position) on her partner's face for a moment of pure oral pleasure. “It comes from BDSM and the dominatrix is ​​the woman,” says Myriam.

Anal shower: because there can be little damage when you have fun from behind, you can proceed to an anal shower using a rectal bulb. The goal: to eliminate the smelly residue of number 2 for a cleaner part of the legs in the air.

Butt plug or anal plug: a sex toy available in a myriad of of shapes (according to individual preferences) that are inserted into the anus to dilate it or to stimulate the prostate, also known as the gentleman's G-spot.

Circulation: < /strong>no, the penis is not always and inevitably the active member. The vagina, the mouth and the anus can also be, because they surround, coat the penis. Circulation – or the action of circlure– is a term coined by a German philosopher to recirculate sex maps and rethinking our approach to penetration. (To learn more, sexologist Myriam Daguzan Bernier suggests reading The Vulva, the Verge and the Vibro)

Other important but misunderstood terms

Grissexual.e: the gray area of ​​asexuality. Greysexual people may sometimes experience sexual attraction in certain specific situations, but generally do not experience sexual attraction. Everyone has their own tastes! 

Demisexual.the: a person who needs to have romantic feelings or affection for a person in order to develop a sexual attraction. No thanks, the one-night stands

Intersex: “To be an intersex person is to have both female and male characteristics. Previously, the word “hermaphrodite” was used, but it is now considered pejorative, because although it has long been used in scientific language, today it refers to “a medicalization of identity and identity. gender expression”, states the very relevant guide Tout nu! According to the UN, more than 120 million people are intersex in the world. 

Cissexism: la  presumption that  all  the  people are  cisgender; the  cissexism contributes to  hide  the  others identities  from  gender and  to affirm the single male-female binary as valid. (Source: FNEEQ) 

Categories (yes!) 

< p>Stud: a very attractive man with a muscular physique. In the lesbian community, the term stud can also be used to describe an androgynous woman called butch who voluntarily adopts a so-called more masculine appearance. An example of a woman stud? The character of Carrie Black, aka Big Boo, played by American Lea DeLaria in the Netflix series Orange Is The New Black.  

Fem: an LGBTQ2S+ person who exhibits feminine characteristics, whether in appearance or behavior. The term is generally not pejorative when used by members of the community.  

Twink: a gay young man considered very handsome, cuteeven!, and generally thin. As Dalida would say: he had just turned 18, he was handsome like a child, strong like a man.  

Bear: refers to a subculture made up of a community of gay or bisexual men who pay a lot of attention to or celebrate burly, hairy bodies. Grrr!  

“It's something that never goes out of style,” says Myriam. In the gay community, it is very present. I'm from Quebec, and at the Drague bar, I remember that there were battleship parties [people with a leather or BDSM fetish, editor's note] and it was filled with bears >.» 

Otter: a hairy gay or bisexual male, but with a more delicate build than bears

Dyke: synonymous with lesbian woman, sometimes a bit more masculine. This term, previously used as an insult in the same way as the word queer, has been reappropriated by some lesbian women for the purpose of affirmation. Except that unlike the word queer, it is not yet unanimous and some activist organizations still consider it defamatory. It is therefore better to find out about everyone's preferences before using it.  

“Read Life &Time of Butch Dykes, suggests the author of All Naked!. It is on portraits of dykes artists who used this word to reclaim it, in the realms of art and politics.” 

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